I vividly remember going to Walmart on December 24, 2004. Does that date mean anything to you? Along with being Christmas Eve, it was also a time when we had only one Walmart Superstore in Farmington. Packed does not do justice to how crowded the place was. I took some solace in knowing I wasn’t the only last-minute shopper trying to finish his gift list.
As I parked my truck at the furthest reaches of the parking lot, I turned off the ignition and waited before getting out. I pictured what the scene inside would likely be, and it wasn’t pretty. I envisioned hundreds of frazzled, irritable, uptight people exhibiting anything but holiday cheer. I figured many would be rude, impatient, demanding and generally not nice to be around.
I decided it was my choice whether to join them or choose a different attitude and not get sucked into their miserable state.
Having chosen the latter, I entered the store and was immediately struck by the accuracy of my prediction. You could see it on people’s faces and in their behavior. So, I just smiled at folks, said Merry Christmas and greeted people as warmly as I could. I even shot up a few prayers for those who seemed especially burdened. I purchased my items and left the store in an exhilarated mood.
Now I must tell you I don’t want to go to Walmart, or any store for that matter, on Christmas Eve ever again. It’s one thing to choose your attitude. It’s another to purposely put yourself in a situation where you’ll likely have to.
The lesson I learned that day, however, has served me well ever since. I learned that if I hadn’t chosen my attitude, someone or something else would have done it for me. And I probably wouldn’t have liked the results.
Let me give you a bold prediction: before this year ends you will find yourself tense or upset with a co-worker, family member or perhaps a fellow motorist. You will also find yourself around people who are tense and upset about life. You will then have the same choice I did. You can either choose your attitude or relinquish that choice to someone else.
Seems like a no-brainer to me, but this is America and we are still free to choose to let others dictate our lives if we want to.
As I’ve said many times, relationships are not always easy to manage. You’re dealing with others who are no more perfect than you are and who will likely get on your nerves at times, just as you occasionally get on theirs. That, you have little control over. How you react or respond, however, is typically within your control.
I appreciate a story DR. Stephen R. Covey tells in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families. A man comes home after a hard day’s work, pulls into the driveway and turns off the motor.
Before getting out, he pauses and imagines what is happening inside. Mom is likely trying to get dinner ready while the kids are working off their seemingly endless supply of energy.
He knows that if he carries the troubles of his workday into the house, he may ruin the evening for everyone. So, he decides to leave those cares until tomorrow. He is now ready to assume his role as husband and father. With that frame of mind, he gets out of the car and enters his home prepared to give of himself.
Covey calls this “pushing the pause button in the driveway,” and I offer the idea to you as a gift. It might not be the most expensive gift you’ll receive this year, but it could be one of the most valuable.
The pause button also works in the parking lot outside your workplace. Before going in, decide not to bring the troubles and challenges from home into work. People make that mistake often unless they consciously choose not to.
If I weren’t afraid of being sued by a certain beverage company, I might say this is a pause that truly refreshes.
But since I have that fear, I’ll pass.
Ron Price, who has a master’s degree in counseling from the University of New Mexico, is author of the “Play Nice in Your Sandbox” book series and creator of the CPR Mastery video course. He is available for workshops and staff training. Contact Ron at ron@ronprice.com and (505) 324-6328. Learn more at ronprice.com.